Wednesday 9th December 2009

The countdown to Christmas continues. Somewhere out there near the North Pole, in a place where the snow cap hasn’t yet melted, Santa is giving the reindeer their final training. Right now, they are practising emergency stops on ice, which is no easy task for anyone. Rudolph, having managed to stop very quickly, has just received an antler up the backside from Blitzen who was immediately behind him and an argument has broken out. Meanwhile, inside the cabin, there are elves cutting the final copies of games discs and testing the hideous tunes on mobile phones, while another set of elves is busy with the wrapping paper, sticky tape and scissors, wrapping and labelling all the presents ready for delivery.

You know all is right with the world when the reindeer finally sit down round the fireside to a glass of mulled wine and a mince pie and Rudolph tells stories of past Christmases. He can still remember the elves hammering together wooden toys and delivering real teddy bears rather than cyber teddies to sleeping children all over the world.

One mischievous elf is sticking together with the sticky tape things which we never intended to be united, like the feet of the elf sitting next to him. His mate is ready with the digital camera, intent on capturing it for future loading on You Tube. There’ll be trouble if Santa notices, but at the moment he is dozing in his rocking chair, glass of brandy by his side, dreaming of the happiness he can bring is just another couple of weeks. He may of course be dreaming of the well earned holiday he plans to take with Mrs Claus starting on Boxing Day. He’s planning a couple of weeks somewhere hot and sunny and a long way away from the reindeer and elves!