It’s budget day, so I thought it was a good opportunity for the Pet Dogs Democratic Party to bring to you their alternative budget. Initially we need to raise some money, so we will tax all businesses that don’t allow access to dogs and extra 10% on top of current taxes. We will also place a special tax on all households that do not have at least one dog as a household member. Similarly we will tax all car manufacturers that do not fit a dog ramp as standard.
To be honest, it’s hard to know how much those measures will raise, so in addition to that there is going to have to be a large reduction in the amount of existing taxes that are spend on humans. We’re not sure that education is really appreciated by many children so it should be made optional rather than compulsory, giving them more time to spend at home with their pets.
I terms of spending, we would like to see a health service which is free for all dogs and the opportunity of education for those who want to better themselves. There will also be pensions paid to all dogs, although the age it will be paid will vary according to breed and will covered in a separate complicated press release. Tax will be abolished on all dog food and a new Family Pet allowance will be introduced covering all dogs as long as they are provided with indoor sleeping accommodation. We want to see all dogs taken out of the poverty trap and for this we don’t mean some calculation based on averages which means there will always be dogs in poverty. We want this to be an absolute measure. As part of this aim, there will be a one off payment of £500 made to all families giving a home to a dog from a pets home and this will rise to £750 for those taking in elderly or disabled dogs.
Now whatever you think of my policies, you can bet that it’s more interesting than the real budget will be!