Thursday 9th April 2009

We may look alike, but there the similarity ends. My companion is a hyperactive, neurotic, basket case. She is clearly not happy with her own company at night and having shredded the corners of the tablecloth, last night went to the trouble of pulling it and everything on it onto the floor. It was five in the morning. Normal people are asleep at that time. I was asleep at that time. My Mistress was the one who had to get up to clear up the debris and she wasn’t impressed.

Yesterday we had a moment that about sums her up. There we were playing tug, me against an eight week old puppy. Hardly a fair contest but she is winning everything else. Anyway, when she couldn’t get the rope, rather than give up, she simply jumped up and grabbed my collar in her teeth. There she was dangling from my collar. Well what is a dog to do? She won’t even leave me alone when I want to go to the toilet. She’s a crazy dog.

To be honest, everything has gone potty in our house. We had an attempted murder : suicide from the cacti plant. Not content to throw it’s limbs off, probably as a result of overwatering, it then tried to extract revenge when my Mistress tried to pick it up to put it in the bin. It even managed to stab her through the pair of gardening gloves she resorted to wearing. Now I know she was the one that over watered it, but it really shouldn’t have been so ungrateful. In this house it was lucky to get watered at all. If it seen the herbs on the kitchen windowsill, it would really they had died through total neglect.