Sunday 21st December 2008

The reality of organising Christmas dinner in another, unfurnished, house is beginning to hit home. There was my mistress counting out mismatched cutlery and mugs to take up to the other house. She’s wondering if everyone will be too polite to comment that they have a rather larger or smaller spoon than is normal and whether the blue serviettes really go with the red tablecloth. I was just frustrated that she wasn’t counting me in the number. I shall have to put up with dog bowls on the floor as normal. I hope I get on with my cousin Jack, otherwise I won’t even be there, but will be confined to barracks here whilst they are enjoying themselves. Under those circumstances, it would be right for them to bring me at least a doggy bag wouldn’t it?

The range of presents you can buy new or second hand this year is extensive, as is the choice of where to buy them. There are high street shops with huge discounts, there are street traders with or without a trading licence. There are markets, there’s the internet with its own shops and of course Ebay and then there’s NASA. Anyone for a used Space Shuttle? They’re going quite cheaply compared to the original build cost, although you would need to provide your own engine and I’m not sure that the one out of your old Ford Escort will do the job. It’s the gift for those who already have everything else and have money to spare. They will deliver free so at least you don’t have to worry about how to get it home, although where to put it when you get there might be a bit of a problem and just think how much wrapping paper it would take.