Tuesday 23rd November 2008

Alarmingly this has not been the relaxing stay in kennels that I’m used to. My Mistress had arranged for me to have a special extra training session whilst I was here. Once again I find myself having to walk to heal and do as commanded. It’s bad enough having to work during the week, without being expected to do anything at a weekend. I think it’s time to object.

Ok so where did that cold weather come from? Obviously, I don’t mean literally, that might involve some lengthy explanation with lots of technical language, what I mean is I wasn’t expecting it. My Mistress pointed out that if I’d been watching the news I’d have known about it, but I’m a dog for heavens sake. Why would I watch the human news? Apart from telling my just how much human beings can screw up our world without us poor dogs having any say at all, what is to be gained by watching the news? Do I want to know that the price of bones has risen? Do I want to know that my savings have fallen in value? Well actually, yes I do, but I don’t need to watch the human news to find those things out. I simply go and take some money out of my piggy bank and wander down to the butchers with it. It’s hard having no say in the things that affect your life, but then with weather, the good things is that humans don’t get a great deal of say either, unless you put this down to global warming in which case you are completely to blame.

My Mistress is still my strongest supporter. I’m proud to say she has just bought another of my sweatshirts. This time it has the slogan ‘Alfie Dog, waiting to be famous’ and of course I am. When I am famous, I shall expect to have a little more say in all the things that affect my life and for starters I will be increasing the biscuit ration of every household pet. Although I may need to get elected to Parliament before I can achieve that. Perhaps she ought to be campaigning for me to be Prime Minister, although these days ‘A List’ celebrities seem to have more say in the world than politicians.