I’m feeling nervous about going to my training session. I feel a bit excited too, it’s always nice to be the centre of attention. I need to behave well enough that I don’t disgrace myself and badly enough that no one concludes I don’t need all this special attention.
There is some special attention that I can well do without. In particular the being wrestled to the ground and man handled in order to put nasty drops in my eyes. How would they like it if I did something like that to them? Have you ever seen me take them by the scruff of the neck and force them onto the ground? No. So what makes them think that they’ve got the right to do it to me? If I were to present a fair picture my Mistress didn’t start by wrestling, she asked me very nicely to sit in front of her and then spoke to me soothingly, whilst wielding a massive great eye drop tube in my general direction. I moved at exactly the right moment and she squirted the first lot onto the carpet. The second lot did at least get as far as my blanket, where I had retreated to escape the ordeal. It was only then that she sent for reinforcements and the soothing words became “Come here you little xxxxxx”.
There was a moment yesterday when I regretted having fallen out with my usual dog training. They had an assault course set up in the field outside our house and it looked such tremendous fun. There is nothing like missing out on something enjoyable to focus the mind on how you ought to have behaved. Still it was too late and I had to resort to begging for some fun things like that as birthday presents next month.