Thursday 28th February 2008

Why have I only just heard about yesterday’s earthquake? I slept through it, as did my master and James. This was not however the case for my mistress. Her complaint was that last week she was woken in the night by James. This week it was me being ill and now God has joined in on the act by sending an earthquake. I don’t think she was overly impressed. Her first thought was that the high winds had blown a tree over by the house, but fortunately there aren’t any right by the house so she realised it wasn’t actually that.

In the absence of moles as the official diggers in the garden, I consider it not just my right but my duty to fill in for them. Actually, filling in is the last thing I have in mind. My master ‘repaired’ the fence between our house and next door, to make sure that I couldn’t visit Hector and Hugo and they couldn’t visit me. He proudly announced he had incorporated a couple of bricks, wired into his scheme to make absolutely certain it would be ok. Who was he kidding? We undid the bricks in no time and since then have been working on either side of the fence to create our own gate. My mistress has spotted what we are up to and told me to put things back as they were. Yeah right!

James has got a pillow that you plug in and play music through. I want one. My bed doesn’t do anything exciting like that. I went off the idea when I asked my mistress if I could have one and she said that it would be like ‘Brave New World’ by Aldous Huxley and she could train me in my sleep, by playing commands to me. Do you think I should forewarn James of the risks?