Thursday 1st November 2007

Something is going wrong here. When my mistress went to the supermarket, I asked her to bring me something nice back to nibble. I’m bored with my diet I want to eat. When she came back I got all excited and said “What have you brought me?” I can only say I think she missed the point. Oh she brought me something but it wasn’t sweets or other tasty junk food. It was carrots. A bag of raw carrots. She tells me they won’t make me fat and they are good for my coat as well. Who wants to eat something that is good for them? That really isn’t the point of snacks. Snacks are meant to be bad for you and the worse the better. ‘Five a day’ is all well and good if you like fruit and veg but what if you like chocolate and ice cream? Can’t they make it five portions a day of those instead? I did eat one of the carrots, it was better than getting into trouble for going through the bin bag and Andy isn’t here now, there are no biscuits to pinch. My mistress is never foolish enough to leave a biscuit lying around.

At least the DIY seems to have come to an end. We now seem to have strange men coming round and measuring the rooms. Apparently, this is what happens when you sell a house, but there you have it. It’s funny hearing them trying to explain to my mistress she needs a HIP, there are just so many jokes I want to make about the ones she’s already got. It is even funnier watching her deal with them as she already knows quite a lot about Home Information Packs and she tests them out to see if they know what they are talking about. Most of the time they don’t’ and end up all tongue tied. I suppose it serves them right from starting off by treating my mistress as though women are basically thick. It is never wise to do that!