Tuesday 11th September 2007

It is all very exciting I am off on a proper holiday for the first time in my life tomorrow. I suppose that isn’t strictly true, I did have a week in Switzerland that I though was a holiday until I found we were only there because we might have to move there, but no one bothered to tell me that. Then there was the disastrous week in the Ardennes that my mistress described as indoor camping and the main feature of which, apart from the rain and my master’s bad back, was my argument with a Jack Russell that led to his owner shouting at my mistress. In my head, I am looking at this as my first proper holiday. For once, I am going to need a bucket and spade. I may also need a little sun hat and some sun cream to protect my delicate skin. I have told my mistress that she doesn’t need to pack my usual food as I am quite happy to eat in restaurants, it really isn’t an issue as far as I am concerned. What seems a bit odd to me is that although we are going to France, we are actually heading to England first. Now correct me if I am wrong, I may not be the most geographically adept dog, but England is not on the way to France when your starting point is Belgium. It isn’t as though we are going to the south coast of England either, except in the sense that we have to pass through on our way north, we are going to Middlesbrough. To my way of thinking that is a little off route but no one seems to be listening to me. Maybe it is one of those instances where the satellite navigation is picking the wrong route. Do you think I should get the paper map out and mark the key places on it for them?