Tuesday 10th July 2007

I have been watching the film Casablanca. I am very distressed that there were no roles for dogs in it. We are so far from achieving equality for dogs, there are times I could get quite depressed about it. It is all right setting up the Pet Dogs Democratic Party but no one seems to want to take a dog seriously. Casablanca is a good film, but think how much better it could have been if it had included a dog. We are very good at looking up with doleful eyes at sentimental moments. It reminds me I still need to write some letters of complaint about films that dogs don’t get due recognition, or worse get left behind at the end. I’m sure it was just an oversight and that the stars went back for the dog but they should include that bit in the film so that I don’t worry.

If nothing else recently I have discovered a good money making scheme. Apparently, you can be instrumental in starting a war and then get people to pay you to try and go and make peace. I’m wondering how I might apply this in everyday life. Perhaps I could start barking a lot and then get people to pay me to stop, or bite the postman and then tell him if he pays me I will make sure it doesn’t happen again. I wonder if there threat would be enough, as it isn’t really in my nature to do anything genuinely bad. I wonder how I make it look as though it is ok and not the wrong side of extortion! Perhaps I have to start by convincing the world that I am doing them a favour by biting the post man and that he was really likely to be very dangerous if I didn’t. Maybe I just have to convince myself of that.