You would be forgiven for thinking this story was apocryphal (I found that word in the dictionary apparently it means ‘made-up’) but believe me I couldn’t make this up if I tried. Yesterday the new washing machine was delivered. The old one has been given the boot because it didn’t seem to work very well and my mistress had put this down to its age and the fact that it is designed to be 240v operation and not the 220v we get here. The old one was ten years old which my mistress was able to recollect now only because of the ‘free flight offer’ that never quite worked out but because she gave her old washing machine away to a friend and in moving it got dropped on someone’s leg and they ended up at hospital having their leg stitched. You may think that is enough history for one washing machine but this particular machine is clearly programmed to cause trouble from start to finish. When my mistress came to unplug it she turned the hot water tap off and disconnected the hot water hose. At this point the hot water spraying all round my bedroom gave a bit of an indication that all was not well. She quickly reconnected the hose and presumed the washer on the tap was faulty. Sadly this was not the case. When she turned the tap back to the ‘on’ position and then disconnected the hose, no water came out. So in fact since it was installed a year ago the hot water tap has been off and no hot water has been added to the washing cycle. It was amazing when my mistress tried the machine with the hot water on all the soap was taken from the soap dish in a way that hadn’t taken place for twelve months and actually despite the voltage difference and its age the machine works just fine. So now the problem seems to be what do you say to the men who turn up with the new washing machine that has cost €650 and who are expecting to be taking your old one away? It may be ten years old but it does seem an awful shame to be getting rid of a perfectly good washing machine! Maybe it can go in the garage with the spare microwave that only works in England!