Sunday 17th September 2006

It is mean making me go away when the moles have started advancing on the second half of the garden. I really want to go and round up the local troops and see if any of them will help me catching them. I’m even willing to promise not to chase the neighbourhood cats if they will come and help, only for as long as it takes them to catch the moles then, of course, they would be fair game again! We no longer have a lawn, more a pile of earth. To be precise we actually have many little piles of earth, so many that I have had to give up counting. Why our garden? What is so good that they want to live here rather than with our neighbours? To be fair, I like it here but then I am supposed to, it is my home!

It seems the whole of the local wildlife wants to get in on the act of being annoying, or at least that is my assumption. Whilst we have been walking we have been hit by a large number of falling acorns. My mistress has said that because it is autumn they are falling off the trees and I shouldn’t take it personally but my theory is that it is a gang of adolescent squirrels looking for kicks.

We had a bit of an incident earlier. It was an accident. I didn’t mean to hurt her. It was a crazy thing to have been doing anyway. My mistress was leaning precariously into an alcove which has a window, in her office, trying to get a mobile phone signal, as you do! Then I decided it was a good moment to jump up and give her a hug. I didn’t mean to crack her head against the wall. I didn’t know she was that off balance and besides she ought to be used to me by now. I suppose I ought to go and apologise but that sort of thing doesn’t come naturally, I am a boy after all. Perhaps I had better swallow my pride, I think I hurt her quite a lot. It resulted in my being shut outside the office so I couldn’t make things worse and it isn’t often that that happens.