Tuesday 18th April 2006

How lovely to have a quiet day. I stayed in bed for ages. Well when I say stayed in bed that is not absolutely accurate. I got out of bed to get my Frostie and then went back to bed again. I was having a fantastic time dreaming of chasing ducks. In my dreams they don’t take off and fly quite as early as they do in real life and I at least get to pull out a tail feather before they are in the air. Anyway there I was dreaming away when I heard my mistress on the phone to the vet. When can she take me to see him? How often do I have to say it? Never would be good in my diary. Unfortunately my mistress seems to see things rather differently and wants me to go this afternoon. I am five months old. Exactly how much prodding does a puppy need? After that the gloss had gone off staying in bed and I felt obliged to get up and try to show I was perfectly healthy and didn’t need to see the vet. I didn’t sneeze or cough once. She has already done my tick treatment so I know it isn’t that one. I ran round and barked occasionally but whatever I did made no difference at all and so it is that I have to go to the vet this afternoon. If I can give her the slip I am off to hide in the woods.

From my observation of the work involved I am never planning to get married. Talk about stressful, I am getting anxious and I’m not even going. It strikes me the day is more about what everybody else wants and expects and almost completely misses the point. My mistress has spent ages trying to work out what they want to do for a cake and she can’t even eat it. I know that would mean there was more for me but it doesn’t seem exactly fair. Perhaps she ought to decorate a giant bar of marzipan, then both she and I would be happy. I can always be found queuing up outside the marzipan cupboard just in case that is what she has gone to get. I have also been trying to encourage her in certain directions when it comes to the present list. ‘How about a few big marrow bones?’ I said. The other thoughts I have had are that I really need a new rubber rabbit, I have pretty much destroyed the original one. I would also like a slightly bigger bed as there seems to be bits hanging over the side of my current one, an odd leg here and a neck there and it’s not as though I have stopped growing yet.