Thursday 26th January 2006

Last night I was in trouble for dereliction of duty and today I am flavour of the month. Is there no consistency in the world? To be fair I was asleep and snoring heavily when I was supposed to be map reading, but what does she expect? I am only 10 weeks old! I don’t know why she complained, we didn’t actually get lost but I guess when you are asking the question “How far along here before we have to turn off?” It is not that helpful to find your passenger not concentrating on the map. I told her she should get satellite navigation but I don’t think that really helped the argument.

I’m not entirely getting the hang of my household chores either. Stacking the dishwasher is fun, because I get to lick the plates. But where is the fun in putting the clean ones away in the cupboard? Getting the post is OK, that means wandering down the drive to the postbox at the end. The one I am really having problems with is opening and closing the curtains. I find I can open them by lunging at the string and using my body weight to raise the blind, but lowering them is altogether a different matter. Once I have hold of the string I am too heavy to get the curtain to come down and the string to go up. Maybe if I just climb onto the chair and from there the table, I might just be able to reach…., I’ll give it a go later and let you know how I get on.

I was given my first dog biscuit today. It was praise after a lovely walk in the snow. When I say praise, it was more of a guilt offering for the look I gave my owner at the sight of her helping herself to a ginger biscuit when we got back and not offering me one. I took my prize to my favourite rug to eat it. Not the same spot I peed on the other night you’ll be pleased to know, even I have standards.

Alfie with a little help from Rosemary J Kind