Friday 29th March 2013 – Murder

Normal people do not pack two children’s hobby horses and two jester hats when they are going away for the weekend. Not that is if they haven’t also packed two children. “What do you think?” asked my Mistress, donning her jester hat. “Honestly?” I asked. Well honestly what I thought was I was glad I wasn’t going as I really didn’t want to be seen out with her. What I actually said was ‘It’s very colourful.’ The other thought I had was that with all those bells there was no chance of them seeing any birds on their journey. They would all fly for cover thinking the local cat population had expanded rapidly.

Now I’m manning the home-front and wondering just how much mischief we can get up to while they aren’t looking. I have already had to have a word with Aristotle about the plants. In a bit of an error of judgment, my Mistress ordered some new fruit trees and bushes for the garden. They were delivered yesterday. The company probably thought people would appreciate them for the Easter weekend when they’d have more time to plant them. They probably didn’t expect them to be hastily put in some tubs to protect them until my Mistress is free to arrange their planting in a week and a half. Anyway, I caught Ari looking longingly at the cherry tree and saying what a great stick it would make. Can you imagine how happy that would have made my Mistress? She has had to buy it as he chewed the original one when he was a puppy. The apple is a replacement for the one that was planted over the soakaway and died as a result of chemicals and I might have killed the pear by peeing on it! I am pleased to say that my Mistress has the good sense to be planning to plant the blueberry bushes in the front garden where we can’t get to them!

Alfie Dog with a little help from Rosemary J Kind alfie@alfiedog.me.uk

Alfie’s Diary – the Book is available at Amazon UK –https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00583ZGSA

You can find short stories to read at www.alfiedog.com