We are celebrating father’s day today as we won’t see my Master on the actual day. I’ve been warned by the others that I can’t tell you what we’ve bought him in case he reads my diary before we give him his present. It’s not fair, they shouldn’t tell me secrets if they want me to keep them. It’s funny the number of times my Mistress will start telling her mother something and her mum will say ‘I know, Alfie’s already told me.’ Anybody would think I couldn’t keep anything to myself.
My Mistress has written about two-thirds of the opening chapter of her new book. She wants to get the first draft of it finished by tomorrow. I was reading it earlier and was pleased to find there is a dog in it. Admittedly it seems to be fairly hungry, but at least it’s in there. A pig passed by too, which apparently was more normal in 1850 than it is today.
This time last week some friends of ours found themselves at the start of the naked bike ride. You will be pleased to know that they were not actually taking part, but a lot of other people were. Can you imagine the discomfort of being on a bicycle with no clothes on? Getting flies in your mouth as you cycled along would be the least of your concerns. Obviously the being naked doesn’t really alarm a dog, we do it all the time, although to be fair unless you are a Mexican Hairless you are born with your own inbuilt clothing. However the thought of sitting your delicate behind on a narrow, hard bicycle seat is enough to make your eyes water and yet there are humans that do it for pleasure. It just goes to prove the point of what a strange species of animal the human is.
Alfie Dog with a little help from Rosemary J Kind alfie@alfiedog.me.uk