Friday 17th July 2009

I’ve been thinking about going into space. I thought that maybe if I could get myself on the Space Shuttle programme, it would increase my chances of being elected at the next election. After all, I could say that I had a truly global view and there aren’t many politicians that can say that. My Mistress is none too happy about the thought of my doing something quite as dangerous as that and asked if I could temper my ambitions. What a killjoy. Now I realise I wouldn’t be the first dog in space but there certainly haven’t been many. I think we should do a range of experiments just focussed on the life of dogs. What happens for example when you pee on a lamppost in zero gravity? How easy is fetch when your toy is gently bobbing off in the other direction? I know that up until now most of the experiments have been focussed on benefits to humans, but it’s important if we are truly your best friends for you to think about our needs. Do you think they have special dog shaped space man outfits with little helmets so that we can breathe? I think I might look quite good striding out to the launch site in one of those.

Shadow is in the dog house. She jumped up my Mistress when she was wearing her best dress and has pulled loads of threads in it. My Mistress doesn’t often get cross with us, but for once she was not best pleased and Shadow found herself banished to another room. The drama didn’t last long and Shadow, to my relief, was soon allowed back in. I’ve started to rather miss her when we are separated.