Tuesday 4th December 2007

You have got to worry about this household. There I am, sitting quietly on my bed yesterday, when my mistress says to my master “If you could live anywhere in England, where would it be?”

Without a moment’s hesitation my master replied, “Wimbledon.”

My mistress was a little baffled and asked “Why?” in a most incredulous voice.

“Oh definitely,” he said, “The Wombles.”

They proceeded to have a conversation along the lines of ‘Where are they now?’ and discussing which was their favourite Womble.

This is not a sane household!

I was also alarmed to overhear a discussion on family pets. Now I know I have been spoilt rotten being their only dog and I have appreciated it. I have just about got my head round the addition of a puppy, mainly because I’ve wanted one for a while, so it seems like a good idea to me. I have even got my head round the fact that it is likely to be a Bearded Collie called Sooty. Then yesterday I heard them discussing the arrival of another puppy, to be called Megan. This one is more exciting as she will be a little girl Entlebucher. However, I do not remember having agreed to share their affections with Lucky the rabbit, another rabbit as yet unnamed, two turtles and a terrapin. It seems my mistress is to become a zoo keeper, which frankly, between you and me, she is in no way qualified to be. Oh she muddles through with me pointing her in the right direction, ‘scratch here’, ‘rub there’, ‘feed me some more’, but what do I know about the needs of a terrapin? I hope they are large turtles and terrapins as I clearly remember her saying she couldn’t cope with anything smaller than a guinea pig. I hope they aren’t going to be sleeping in my bed, with the exception of Megan who will be very welcome to snuggle up.