Wednesday 22nd March 2006

Now here is a strange thing. Can you believe that mobile phones were once the size of bricks? What would be the point in trying to call that mobile? You would need awfully big pockets to fit that in. Apparently only 20 years ago it was like that and the batteries only stayed charged for about 2 hours. What kind of world was that? I just can’t imagine what it must have been like. My mistress was telling me that portable computers were the size of the one I have for my desk. How on earth are you expected to carry that round with you? Were people bigger then so that things were more in proportion? Have humans evolved into a small size now as they don’t have to carry big mobile phones and computers? There are so many questions I have that no one gives me the answers to. One thing I have been wondering is, is life real or is it just a film? Are all the people and creatures around me just playing ‘bit parts’ in a film about my life or am I just an extra in a film about one of their lives? If this is a film about someone else do I know the real person or are they just being played by an actor? Maybe my master isn’t who I think he is, maybe he is just an actor pretending to be my master and I am playing the part of my master’s dog, whilst obviously not being the real dog at all. Sometimes my trains of thought just get too complicated for even me to deal with!

It is amazing how much you can learn in a short space of time. I can now not just walk upstairs, but bound upstairs. I am not so good on the return journey but I’m practising. My next move will be to try sliding down the banister but unfortunately the person who designed the house really wasn’t thinking with fun in mind and there is a discontinuity in the banister which could prove a little tricky, not to say painful!

Much as I have been doing little rain dances round the garden I have failed to summon up the rain clouds. This means that short of my having a really imaginative idea within the next few hours I am going to have to face up to the fact that the mistress is going to take me to puppy training again. I have contemplated feigning illness or pretending to limp but she isn’t soft enough to simply say it is ok to stay at home. She is most likely to say something like if I am not well then I will just have to go to bed early and clearly won’t be able to go and see squirrel tomorrow. I did try hiding and not coming out but she threw a toy and shouted fetch and before I knew what I was doing I chased it and then pulled up sharp when I realised I was supposed to be in hiding.