Saturday 28th January 2006

Well I finally did it. When my owner was busy I started an assault on the curtains. I made it to the chair without bringing attention to myself and from there put my paw over the ledge of the table top. It was then I was accosted by a furry tortoise. I presume it was all part of the surveillance operation, but it launched itself off the table and came down on top of me. I regret to say I have given up on the curtains, there is a limit to how far I will go in the name of scientific experiment!

When we got back from today’s walk my owner gave me a dog biscuit once again. I immediately took it to my bowl and ate it over that. What is she like. She started praising me for being a clean, tidy puppy…duh! Has she got no sense. I wanted to make sure I got all of it. I have lost some crumbs from the last one in the tufts of the rug, and much as I scratch at it I just can’t seem to get them out.

I have suffered the trauma of being force fed a worming tablet today. Still if it is anything like the last time I shall get my own back pretty quickly. I had an upset stomach for a couple of days afterwards – oh so nice to have to clear up after me!

There I was sitting outside the changing room in a mens clothes shop and the sights you see! First there was the bloke with a paunch trying on jeans, he came out to admire himself in the mirror. I just wanted to say to him “The jeans are great, but will you not just try and lose the stomach?” Then there was the lad in his early 20’s with a woman probably in her 50’s. I wanted to call out to him “Don’t you think you are too old to be shopping with your mother. Please tell me that’s your mother? Otherwise, whatever are you thinking of?” But hey, who wants to listen to a dog?

Alfie with a little help from Rosemary J Kind