Painting
Our Mistress decided to cheer herself up by doing a little painting. She has these odd ideas every so often. She thought she would buy some stencils and some paint and liven up some old boxes in the bathroom. That’s humans for you. Why can’t they just be content with a stick? Anyway, she has misjudged the amount of paint you need for such a small project. She’s now offering to use the stencils to paint patterns around the whole of the rest of the house. I do hope our Master comes home soon as he will have more chance of stopping her than any of us will.
Getting the Girl
I really am feeling a bit left out. It seems Alfie is proving irresistible. When he goes to bed upstairs, Wilma gets into bed with him. When he goes to bed in the kitchen Shadow has started getting in with him. Ok, she’s my mother and if she started getting in with me it would be weird. But what has Alfie got that I haven’t? I wash as often as he does. I don’t have any personal habits that are unacceptable to a dog, well not that I know of anyway. At this rate I’m going to have to go walking somewhere different and bring myself back a girlfriend.
In my younger day, all the girls used to throw themselves at me. I was the James Bond of dogs. Now, well I don’t know where it all changed. Maybe I need to find a doggy dating site on the internet. I’m sure there must be one if I looked. I’m only looking for friendship, but it would be nice to feel the warmth of another body in bed.
My Ad
How would I word my advert? ‘Handsome, suave, middle-aged dog seeks bitch for long-term friendship. Prefers snuggles to walks.’ Do you think that would do it? Do I need to say anything about my health issues or should I wait to meet her for that? Anyway, if you know anyone who could apply, please send her my way.
Happy Sunday
Aristotle
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