It’s Aristotle here, but you’ve probably guessed that from the title to the post! We were sitting on the settee, Alfie our Mistress and me. Our Mistress was of course in the middle keeping us boys apart. Alfie was curled up quietly in the other corner of the settee and our Mistress was trying to read the day’s newspaper while holding a glass of beer in her hand. Oh it’s not what you’re thinking. I didn’t tip the beer all over either her or her newspaper. While she was engrossed in reading, I caught the smell of fresh cold Corona beer and I liked what I smelled. The next thing she knew I’d got my tongue in her glass and was lapping away merrily. Needless to say I was told off and it was explained I was not old enough to drink beer. To be fair it was explained that I would never be old enough to drink beer. Which all things considered is a very mean conclusion to reach. I spent the rest of the evening sniffing and licking my lips and hoping to move in while she was otherwise occupied. I had hoped that after I’d had my tongue in the glass she would be put off and give me the rest of the glass, but she said she coped with me kissing her so she just shrugged and kept drinking. Given that Alfie was allowed to lick out the ice cream container later in the evening it seemed particularly unfair. I’m going to talk to him about the Pet Dogs Democratic Party needing to campaign for a lower legal age for drinking alcohol. As things stand it’s only like to be the odd Yorkshire Terrier or other long lived small breeds that every get the chance! I’m going to have to learn to use the bottle owner, or take to drinking the beers my Master drinks as he’s more likely to put his glass down where I can reach it.
Alfie’s Diary – the Book as well as our other books are available HERE
You can find short stories to read at www.alfiedog.com