Not content with having a step counter measure her normal everyday steps our Mistress has started to walk or run on the spot when she is doing other things. The problem is that now she can eat so many more things she is losing the battle to be her ideal weight. (It’s going in the wrong direction but don’t let her know I told you.) Anyway, she has set step levels at which she is allowing herself a treat but she has set them very high so to get both cake and wine in the same day she is going to have to take us for some very long walks or just keep running on the spot all the time. She could just stop eating and drinking so much but apparently that is not so much fun – although watching her running while cooking dinner I do have to wonder if she’s right.
I think I should be reporting her to the authorities too. Yesterday she threatened me with a vacuum cleaner. When I say ‘threatened’ it was more ‘cornered me’ but it was a very distressing moment. How was I to know she was going in that particular direction and that if I went there I was going to find my way out blocked by a noisy machine picking up all my dropped hair? I might have wanted that hair for later. Unlikely, I know, but it’s distressing watching it being mercilessly sucked up the vacuum. The problem is that our Master is away this weekend and our Mistress seems to have gone into full-blown spring cleaning mode. I’m going to have serious words with our Master and ask him never to go away again. Alfie seemed to take it all in his stride, but then he wasn’t the one being cornered. I was exhausted by the end of it and needed to go for a lie down!
Alfie’s Diary – the Book as well as our other books are available HERE
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