Wednesday 30th April 2014 – A Battle of Wills

My Mistress now needs a Plan B, or I think probably Plan C. Yesterday’s temperature taking turned into a battle of wills. 30kg very determined dog against one heavier, but apparently weaker, human. I was offered treats. I declined. I hid in the crate. The door was closed so I couldn’t go in. I curled up smaller than you can believe for a dog of my size and made my posterior completely inaccessible. This dance around the utility went on for twenty minutes. She upped the ante on the biscuit offer. I declined. She pleaded with my better nature to do her a favour… I declined. She begged. Surprisingly, to her, I still declined. I nearly weakened when the large pile of biscuits went back in the tin, but then she tried one final time to approach me and I decided even biscuits are not worth that much. Anyway, so I have been fired from being her assistant and she is now looking for plan C. It strikes me there are three possibilities. She could hope that Shadow has still not started her season, but to be honest that is fairly unlikely and she’s more likely to find she starts on the day and she has to sit in the car. Option 2 is to buy an ear thermometer, but all her research has not thrown up a reliable one of these for a dog, so she is reluctant to go down that route. Option 3 is to train Aristotle to stand still to have his temperature taken. As the words Aristotle and still don’t often appear in the same sentence I can’t see that happening either. Of course there is an option 4 and to be honest I think it’s her best bet. She could buy a cuddly toy dog that doesn’t mind having a thermometer pushed between its stitching!

Alfie’s Diary – the Book is available at Amazon UK –https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00583ZGSA

You can find short stories to read at www.alfiedog.com