I know I’m the biggest in our house and for that matter I’m the strongest, but I’m a pacifist by nature and it seems in the wild that is not that normal. I don’t like conflict. I don’t face up to it, I turn the other cheek and walk away. When I was an only dog the problem never really arose. When it was Shadow and me, well she was just a puppy and I let her win back then anyway. Once she grew up she’d got used to winning and knew that I would let her. She’d also got her own human so it wasn’t such a big deal that I wanted to be closest to my Mistress. Then Megan came along. Megan wanted to be closest to my Mistress. That didn’t bring her into direct conflict with Shadow as she has a human of her own and even when James moved out she had our Master. Megan wanted our Mistress. In those days the girls used to be together in the other room some of the time and so I still got our Mistress and she enforced an artificial pack order with me coming in for grief some of the time from the girls but not all the time. Then Ari arrived and we used to be best mates when he was a puppy, but he grew up and his hormones kicked in. Whilst he is a very gentle dog in human terms, in dog terms he is definitely higher up the pack and sometimes even has discussions with Shadow as to whether he can be top dog this week. While Megan was away, we settled into a reasonable pattern the three of us. I was bottom of the pack and as long as I didn’t mind that I was allowed a reasonably quiet life. Now Megan has come home and everything has changed. She has done a deal with Aristotle and said that she will respect his position as more senior in the pack if he can help her to usurp my position of closeness to my Mistress. Anyway, it all came to a head yesterday when first thing in the morning they were lying in wait at the top of the stairs to tell me I wasn’t even allowed to go into the office. I have never felt so upset in my life. I went and sat under the kitchen table and cried. It made my Mistress sad too and in the afternoon she created a safe zone behind her desk to let me be close to her in peace. She’s even talked about buying a dog guard to box her and me inside if it would help. I just don’t know what to do. She’s told me I should stand up for myself and if I did they would back down, but it just doesn’t come naturally. I know it’s bullying but I just don’t know how to handle it. It isn’t as though I’m getting any younger. I saw my elderly years as ones surrounding by playing puppies who showed a little respect, but it’s not looking so bright now. What would you do?
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Dear Alfie, We are sorry to hear about your troubles. Perhaps a time out for the young upstarts would work. If they were not allowed in the office for a while and you were, they might see you as head of the pack and getting special privileges. They would then respect your position in the pack once again.