If you are normal you spend your day walking the dog, cuddling the dog, curled up on the settee with the dog and other such important pastimes. Not if you are my Mistress. Oh all of those things happened at one point of the day or another but they had to fit round important things like creating a crime scene for a book cover. She wasn’t creating a real crime scene you understand, not with anyone physically being killed, although she’s had had the sort of week where I was quite surprised we got to the end of it without her having killed anyone, but that’s another story. Anyway, there she was with her dead man rug. Doesn’t everyone have one of those? Apparently not! It is a rug in blue with the white outline of a body and a gun. It’s almost life size and is laid out on the landing where it can amuse her without shocking people arriving at the front door. Anyway, the photograph involved the dead man rug, and some wool and knitting needles. She even spent ages choosing the right colour for the balls of wool, although to be fair we had a limited selection. She felt they needed to ‘say’ something. Other than the fact that she is totally mad, which I think they were shouting loud and clear! Oh I humoured her. I came out with comments like ‘don’t you think the knitting needles would be better slightly to the right?’ and ‘Do you think the number three is the right size?’ Of course I’ve never knitted but a dog picks things up from the world around him. I don’t think she realised my comments were made tongue in cheek, but then even after seven years she doesn’t always realise when we dogs are just winding her up. It’s a bit like Ari playing ‘knock door run’ when he’s outside. He comes to the back door, taps to be let in and then legs it to the other end of the garden so that when my Mistress gets to the door he’s not there. He does it all the time. He says he’s just trying to help her keep fit, but I’m not so sure!
Alfie Dog with a little help from Rosemary J Kind alfie@alfiedog.me.uk
Alfie’s Diary – the Book is available at Amazon UK –https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00583ZGSA
You can find short stories to read at www.alfiedog.com