I’ve been threatened with a bath and I’m not even dirty. One thing you should know about our breed is that we pride ourselves on our appearance and keep ourselves spotlessly clean. We don’t smell very much, unless some morsel we’ve picked up gives rise to a small amount of flatulence and we keep our coats in beautiful condition. As a result of this I’ve had about five real baths in my life and I don’t think Shadow has had any, but then she doesn’t like rolling in fox poo. None of us has reached the elevated status of show dogs, until this month we weren’t eligible to be shown in this country. Now however things have changed. From the first of April we have been accepted to be shown in the import classes of major dog shows and it was no April fool joke, but the result of eighteen month’s hard work by the club. Therein lies the problem! It isn’t that I’m about to enter the show ring, the removal of my masculinity put paid to that some wile ago, however we have to train people to be able to judge the breed and my Mistress is doing the presentation on Saturday. When she told me about it and mentioned the bath, I suggested if she were doing the presentation she should be having the bath, but then she dropped the bombshell that I was to be used as a model for the presentation. It’s not just me, you understand, it would have been all four of us. Actually she was planning on three of us as she thought Megan would be pregnant so didn’t want her being stressed. As it turns out Shadow is in season so can’t come and Megan isn’t pregnant. Meg is still not being part of the judging section, just in case there is a remote chance of her being pregnant after all. She is sitting with my Mistress being the demonstration dog at the front while Ari and I have to be part of the judging assessment. Ari doesn’t need a bath as he went swimming this week. I don’t want a bath. Let’s see who wins shall we?
Alfie Dog with a little help from Rosemary J Kind alfie@alfiedog.me.uk
Alfie’s Diary – the Book is available at Amazon UK –https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00583ZGSA
You can find short stories to read at www.alfiedog.com
Well Alfie I thought I’d let you know that Addie gets a bath every 12 weeks at the Groomers where she and Sasha get a bathed and dried, nails clipped and ears cleaned on a regular basis. So you’ve got it better than she does. Are you happier now?
Not exactly happier – but you do know we don’t need all that pampering, don’t you? Or is it a girl thing?
Hi Alfie,
I have had one bath so far. I joined the queue when my house mates were having one as I was not sure if I was supposed to follow their lead. I will not be doing that again!
See you soon
Dickens