Friday 19th October 2012 – Oh No!

My Mistress has been watching the dogs that were in the America’s got talent show. It seems to be that there are dogs doing well for themselves everywhere and good luck to them. I’m happy to watch. I’m happy to cheer them on. What I am not happy about is the expectation that we should raise our game and do something similar. This is where I have to point out that I am nearly 50 in human years and I am past doing silly exercises to look photogenic. I am also a large 30kg dog and we aren’t built that way. I don’t care that everyone would say ‘Ooo’ and ‘Aaah’. If I tried doing even the easiest of those exercises I’d be saying ‘Oh no’ and ‘Aarrgggh’ – as subtle but important difference! Oh I know that Aristotle has learnt to waltz, but he spent too long as a puppy reading Animal Farm and whilst I share in some of its political thinking I have not felt the need to take it literally and walk on two legs. Yes, I realise that it means Aristotle can help himself to things I can’t reach, but I can beg very nicely and that generally does the trick. If it ever becomes good television to video a dog sleeping on the couch then I will be right in there with the best of them. I am also second to none in the game of ‘biscuit catch’ and practice that at every opportunity, although to be fair Aristotle’s coordination on that one is improving and I think he may follow in my paw prints.

I suppose I’d better get back to thinking of puppy names, just in case Tuesday’s scans go all right. Now then, names beginning with C…

Alfie Dog with a little help from Rosemary J Kind alfie@alfiedog.me.uk

Alfie’s Diary – the Book is available at Amazon UK –https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00583ZGSA

You can find short stories to read at www.alfiedog.com