Tuesday 2nd June 2009

My Mistress is thinking of renaming Shadow as ‘Monkey’, because she’s always up to mischief. I said it would just encourage her to think that misbehaving was all right, which my Mistress thought was a valid point. I also said it would be no different to renaming my Mistress ‘accident prone’ as she sliced into her finger whilst cutting the meat. She certainly seems to have plenty of very red blood.

It’s always funny when I look at the numbers of people reading my diary. I don’t know who you are out there, but however did you find time to read over 1000 days of entries during last month. You can’t have that many to go to have read them all and then what are you going to do? Whoever you are, please do feel free to email me, unless you are a stalker trying to obtain information on me. If you are, then I’m not here and I can be fierce, whatever my picture might look like. You ask the elderly terrier that walks past here every day. I certainly scare her.

You can see how this exercise thing is going with my Mistress. She ‘planned’ to go swimming on Monday, but didn’t feel like it. She can’t go cycling at the moment as she is too saddle sore and she’s only prepared to watch the yoga video while reclining comfortably on the bed. I suggested she may be better off being happy with her shape the way it is and give up altogether. She said that was very defeatist attitude and I should be trying to encourage her instead. The thing is, with this whole diet business the scraps have reduced and I’m missing them. I haven’t had a crisp for days. I’m getting withdrawal symptoms.