Saturday 24th November 2007

That will teach her not to blame me for everything. To be fair the first rug that went through the wash was because I had been sick on it. My mistress had tried to direct me to the bare floor, so that it was easier to clear up, but who wants to get their feet cold whilst they are being sick? Anyway the rug went through the wash and when it moved to the dryer my mistress scooped out a pile of dog hair and pointed out that I seemed to have lost part of my coat all over it. When she put the rug back on the floor, it made her realise how dirty the others were and so she washed the next one along. At the point she moved it to the dryer she said “Now let’s see how much of your hair we have this time.” So she scooped the bits out of where they all collect and unless I have suddenly grown long ginger hair that I hadn’t noticed I’m guessing they may have been hers. “And your point is?” I said and nonchalantly walked away. Did I get an apology for the slur on my character, no of course I didn’t, she just grinned at me. I suppose that is humans for you.

We watched the football the other night and were depressed by how bad England were. Now I hear that they are looking for a new coach and that a foreigner may well be acceptable. I think I should put myself forward. I don’t think I could do a worse job than the last one and perhaps having a dog in the job is the new approach they should be looking for. I’m sure I can bring the team together and if nothing else we could have some great fun. The Chairman of the Football Association has called for a ‘root and branch’ review. Given my in depth experience with both roots and branches, I am perfectly qualified.