Is there really any point in appraising my master? It would be hard to know where to start with the areas of improvement. I’m sure I have already mentioned the excessive recycling system in operation in Belgium. There are almost as many categories as there are items of rubbish. After my mistress had had to fish a yoghurt pot out of the badly decomposed green waste, because my master somehow thought as he ate it with his banana at breakfast they must go in the same place you would like to hope she had got the message across. Yesterday after he had finished off a container of shower plughole unblocker, my mistress asked where he had put the empty container. She was so pleased when he said it had gone in ‘dangerous’ waste that she gave him a big kiss. Unfortunately, his response to that was “if that is what happens, I am going to put everything in ‘dangerous’ waste from now on.” I think he may have missed the point. Maybe his recycling ability is like the fault in my mistress’s computer. She says it is an intermittent fault because it only happens 95% of the time.
Given that my master and mistress are both cricket fans, they are none too happy. As much as they are very good friends with our Australian neighbours, it seems there are limits. Being beaten within the first three tests is not the best Christmas present they could have but like all true fans they are already looking forward to the next time to get them back and that is before Australia have even completed the ‘whitewash’ for this occasion. I wonder if I could play cricket. I am at least as good at catching as some of the team, it’s the batting I might have a few problems with. Then again I suppose there would be double the chance of me being out ‘leg before wicket’ as I have twice as many legs.