Sunday 26th March 2017 – Happy Mother’s Day

Shadow was a bit surprised this morning when I remembered to go up to her and wish her a happy Mother’s Day. She’s heard from some of my brothers and sisters too, so she’s feeling very spoilt. She is going to be celebrating with an extra biscuit, but says she can’t have too much because now she has a waist she doesn’t want to lose it again. I on the other paw have realised that my waist is disappearing and I’m not really sure where it’s gone. Our Mistress says I’m suffering from middle age spread, but the only spread I’ve seen is a cheese one in the fridge. The sad part of it, given I can’t increase my exercise is that I am now starting on a diet and can’t laugh at Shadow anymore. My rations aren’t being cut by as much as hers were, but then I have no aspiration to be a show dog. I am cutting my food allowance by a quarter and have been told to stop eating between meals too.

We completed operation summerhouse yesterday. Even I was a little alarmed by the size of some of the spiders who were displaced in the process. When I say ‘displaced’ they all had three options. Firstly, they could leave of their own accord and I’m pleased to say many took of the resettlement package. Secondly, they could be sucked up the cleaner and take pot luck whether they survived the ordeal of being deposited somewhere else. Thirdly, they could be stamped into oblivion if they had the audacity to run toward our Mistress. Sadly, some took that option. Anyway, everything is now as clean and tidy as a summerhouse can be and will be in use regularly over the next few months, if all goes to plan. Our Mistress says she will take some of the dog beds down there that we use for kennels so we can be completely comfortable while she works. I’m rather looking forward to it.

Happy Sunday

Aristotle

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