I seem to be having a week for getting into trouble. In my defence this was not entirely my fault, but my Mistress didn’t entirely see it the same way. I cannot be held responsible if a Jack Russell makes a bid for freedom and then uses its time to stand the other side of the fence arguing with me. She’s been on at me about this whole ‘turn the other cheek’ lark, but I ask you, what dog have you ever known to turn the other cheek? Sadly she told me that her previous dog did. Well wasn’t he the little goody four shoes then! When I am having the error of my ways pointed out, I do not want to be compared to the apparently perfect dog. I want to be compared to real dogs with real problems. I have been lectured on not teaching Shadow all my bad habits and been firmly put in my place. I think it’s time to rebel. I can’t be doing with all this authority. I’ve waited long enough. I’m going to dye my hair pink and have a stud put in my nose (unless it’s likely to hurt, in which case I’ll get one of those artificial ones so that she only thinks I’ve done it.) I’m going to learn all the teenage slang and start swearing as well. Enough of the good dog image. If she isn’t going to listen that I wasn’t to blame then I can at least get my money’s worth. If I feel really daring I might even leave my toys in the middle of the room and refuse to clear up, then I’m going to chem. Any of the house plants that I can reach. I need a tougher name too. If I’m going to rebel ‘Alfie’ sounds a bit cute.