Ok enough already. I am through with vets. My mistress told me I was just going for a blood test result. So I thought ‘right, nothing to worry about’. I bounced in and said hello to the vet, after all he is quite a nice bloke when he isn’t doing unspeakable things to me. How could I be so naive? First he looked at my teeth, which have almost all come through now and I told him that the little bit of blood on my gum was nothing. I just chew on my mistress’s arm when they are feeling uncomfortable but even that is reducing now. Then he started prodding and poking my rear end again! I’m starting to think he has a bit of a thing for me. Then horror of horrors he started talking about operations because bits aren’t all where they should be. Whatever he has in mind, I am definitely out that day! Then just as I started to relax he explained to me that my blood test hadn’t shown enough antibodies and I have to have it all again. Look, if it’s this much trouble I am prepared to give up my right to travel the world. I can be like most other dogs and just stay home. Really, I can! Despite my urgent protestations I was once again injected and booked in for another blood test in a month’s time. Why me? I’m just your average wimp. I can do without all this excitement.
In the meantime I am thinking very seriously of setting up in business in some form of activity involving weddings. It seems to work that whatever you would charge normally as soon as someone mentions the word wedding you are allowed to add an extra ‘0’ on the end. How can a cake cost that much money? Is it plated in gold? My master had even managed to find one my mistress liked, which was pretty good going on his part and his please of loving fruit cake had not fallen on deaf ears. Well if nothing else it might help her to feel a bit less guilty about the cost of a dress. Now I know I can’t go to the wedding but I really hope they aren’t thinking of leaving me out of the honeymoon as well. How many chances does a dog get to go on honeymoon after all?
I went round to squirrel’s for some sympathy after my vet visit. She was great and found me a few acorns to cheer me up. As the weather is a bit nicer I asked if she would like to go for a picnic one day soon and she thought it was a lovely idea. I did wonder about waiting for Hedgehog to come out of prison but a day out with squirrel, just her and me, would be rather nice.