Thursday 6th December 2007

You really do have to laugh. The moles are definitely in the lead. They had dug 18 holes in this end of the garden in the last few days alone. Then some men came along and removed all the earth they had dug up to make it look respectable as there were people coming to view the house. They did the ‘clean up’ at about 11am, which was a big mistake, as the people weren’t coming until 4pm. As soon as the men had gone, the moles started digging again. In the end, one of the men came and sat in our garden holding a shovel. It reminded my mistress of the fairground game where you have to guess which hole the mole is going to pop out of and then hit it with a mallet. I suggested that games like that could have her up in from of the RSPCA and speaking from an animals perspective I was saddened that she found such cruelty amusing. Meanwhile in our garden, for as long as the man sat there the mole didn’t dig. It was a bit like having a live ‘gnome’ in the garden. It is now 24 hours later and we are already up to six mole hills the last time I looked out of the window. After seeing the man with the shovel I am almost on the moles side, if only I didn’t keep falling into their tunnels when they gave in they would have my unwavering support.

My mistress did not become insufferable as a result of reaching the last five in the competition she was shortlisted in. This was not because she was tolerable instead of insufferable, it was because she didn’t go any further. I’m keeping my head down for a while.


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