Sunday 7th October 2007

Well my mistress’s travels were not the overwhelming success she had hoped for. It is a little disconcerting to ask, “Can I use this ticket on this train?” before you get on, and then after the answer is “Yes” be asked for excess fare on the train because the answer should have been “No”. As if that was not bad enough, the machine then declined her credit card. Poor dear, didn’t know where to put herself. Then the bloke misheard her and thought she said she hadn’t got enough money. By this time she felt as though the whole carriage were watching. I reassured her by saying “I’m sure they weren’t watching, just listening.” She didn’t seem to think that helped. She did wonder about the whole process of being made to book a seat on a specific train and then being allowed to travel on a different train, leaving an empty seat marked reserved later in the day. I’m sure there must be a way of electronically cancelling the later seat allocation, but the train company doesn’t seem to have caught up with that yet. She was also slightly less thrilled at having got her hotel room half price, when she realised she had the attic room, with a window she could barely climb out of, overlooking the windowless backs of buildings. I did reminder her that she was the one who had told me “You don’t get something for nothing”, she didn’t think that was helpful either!

Fame at last. Only in my own lunchtime but at least it is a start. I am going to appear on a calendar, for sale as part of an enterprise scheme run for schools. One of my cousins is doing it and he asked if he could use a picture of me. I said as long as he got one that captured me from my best side, how could I possibly refuse. I am now trying to negotiate whether I am to get a one off fee or a share of the profits. I prefer the share idea, it might amount to more. It’s like legitimate gambolling.


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