Oh dear. Yesterday’s lunch hasn’t half given me wind. I’m blaming the gravy, although it was delicious and I don’t want to be refused it in future, but if I have to choose between the gravy or the bone from the lamb joint, I would sacrifice the gravy. You would be amazed how quickly I can plough through a bone. I know my mistress looked at my jaws with renewed awe. She looked at her arm and said something like ‘remind me not to let you get the two things confused’. She ought to know by now that I wouldn’t harm a fly. Ok maybe that was a bad analogy, I eat flies and spiders, but that is just to help everyone else out, it isn’t for my personal pleasure you understand.
Yesterday afternoon my mistress and I had a lovely walk, just the two of us. We went a different way along a lane out of the village. There was a footpath and I said ‘Can we go down there?’ but there was a sign saying it had been sprayed and we didn’t know if it meant ‘stay on the bit that is a different colour’ or ‘I wouldn’t go down there at the moment if I were you’. We took it to mean the latter, at least after I had pointed out to my mistress that I hadn’t got any shoes on and I couldn’t help but put my nose to the ground every so often.
Now we are onto another start to the week. James is at school. My mistress is working. My master is working. There is no one to spoil my peace and quiet for a nice long morning nap. I can choose any spot I fancy to sleep in, without being trodden on, prodded, poked or generally annoyed. Oh I do so like Mondays!