{"id":996,"date":"2007-03-13T07:01:19","date_gmt":"2007-03-13T07:01:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/oneandonly.me.uk\/?p=996"},"modified":"2007-03-13T07:01:19","modified_gmt":"2007-03-13T07:01:19","slug":"tuesday-13th-march-2007","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/alfiesdiary.uk\/index.php\/2007\/03\/13\/tuesday-13th-march-2007\/","title":{"rendered":"Tuesday 13th March 2007"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I\u2019ve got a new toy. At least my mistress says it is a toy but I have no idea how to play it. Worryingly it seems to more complicated that your basic ball, frisby or rope. It looks more like the sort of \u2018activity toy\u2019 that help in the development of young children. I thought that as a dog I was exempt from the need for such earnest development. Apparently, my mistress has to hide dog treats, under little wooden blocks, I have to sniff out the treat, lift the block out of the hole and then I get the treat. I have asked that the instructions be amended to read \u2018marzipan\u2019 instead of dog treat. What I have not yet got is the lifting the block out to get to the treat. I have tried licking the blocks. I have tried licking my mistress. I have tried looking sadly at the game to see if she will get the treat for me but I can\u2019t quite get my head round having to lift the block up and look underneath it. My master thinks the game is great because it will keep my mistress amused for hours but I really am sure she takes no pleasure in my getting frustrated.<\/p>\n<p>Spending as much time as I do on the internet, I can\u2019t help but wonder why there is so much \u2018spam\u2019? Why do people keep writing to me about things that are so inappropriate? They would be bad enough if I were human but they are totally not suitable for dogs. I don\u2019t think a plastic surgeon would expect me to turn up saying \u201cI would like you to do that to me please\u201d. Surely, humans don\u2019t do things like that do they? If they do I really don\u2019t want to know. Dogs are so much better at being happier with the way they were born. I suppose some of us go to Dog Shows and become disillusioned that we are not as attractive as our owners have told us we are but we don\u2019t go rushing out to plastic surgeons to make changes. I wonder if I should consider getting the white line up my forehead straightened.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<div class=\"mh-excerpt\"><p>I\u2019ve got a new toy. At least my mistress says it is a toy but I have no idea how to play it. Worryingly it <a class=\"mh-excerpt-more\" href=\"https:\/\/alfiesdiary.uk\/index.php\/2007\/03\/13\/tuesday-13th-march-2007\/\" title=\"Tuesday 13th March 2007\">[&#8230;]<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":8739,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-996","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/alfiesdiary.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/996","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/alfiesdiary.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/alfiesdiary.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alfiesdiary.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alfiesdiary.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=996"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/alfiesdiary.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/996\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alfiesdiary.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/alfiesdiary.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=996"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alfiesdiary.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=996"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alfiesdiary.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=996"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}