{"id":980,"date":"2007-03-05T06:55:56","date_gmt":"2007-03-05T06:55:56","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/oneandonly.me.uk\/?p=980"},"modified":"2007-03-05T06:55:56","modified_gmt":"2007-03-05T06:55:56","slug":"monday-5th-march-2007","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/alfiesdiary.uk\/index.php\/2007\/03\/05\/monday-5th-march-2007\/","title":{"rendered":"Monday 5th March 2007"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Why is it when you pair socks there is always one left over? Obviously, they are not my socks, as they would need to come in fours rather than pairs. I have however observed that this always seems to be the case. My mistress puts an even number of socks into the washing and then takes an odd number out. Where does the other one go? Maybe it is the other way round and one appears from somewhere. I think the washing machine fairy hides one out of one wash and then puts it in with the next one. It could also account for how coloured items of clothing get in with the whites and send it all grey!<\/p>\n<p>On the board in the kitchen are some rosettes. There are two that say 1<sup>st<\/sup> and one that says 3<sup>rd<\/sup>. I made the mistake of asking my mistress what they were for and discovered that they had been won by her last dog. I am now working on developing an inferiority complex because I haven\u2019t won any. To be fair I haven\u2019t been entered into anything so maybe I would win if I were. Perhaps I should see if there is a \u2018Denbury May Fair\u2019 this year and get my mistress to take me. That is where they got first prizes in \u2018Dog most like its owner\u2019 and \u2018dog with the waggiest tale\u2019 and a third prize in \u2018dog the judge most wanted to take home\u2019. I can be adorable and wag my tale. I\u2019m not sure I look anything like my owner and to be fair looking at pictures of Sweep (my predecessor) I can see an uncanny resemblance, although it may just be the fact they both have long, unruly looking hair. I am sure I could get the judge to want to take me home and I could do better than a third place in that!<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<div class=\"mh-excerpt\"><p>Why is it when you pair socks there is always one left over? Obviously, they are not my socks, as they would need to come <a class=\"mh-excerpt-more\" href=\"https:\/\/alfiesdiary.uk\/index.php\/2007\/03\/05\/monday-5th-march-2007\/\" title=\"Monday 5th March 2007\">[&#8230;]<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":8684,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-980","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/alfiesdiary.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/980","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/alfiesdiary.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/alfiesdiary.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alfiesdiary.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alfiesdiary.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=980"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/alfiesdiary.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/980\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alfiesdiary.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/alfiesdiary.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=980"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alfiesdiary.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=980"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alfiesdiary.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=980"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}