{"id":9595,"date":"2014-11-15T06:00:20","date_gmt":"2014-11-15T06:00:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/alfiedog.me.uk\/?p=9595"},"modified":"2024-04-11T12:26:32","modified_gmt":"2024-04-11T12:26:32","slug":"saturday-15th-november-2014-alfies-birthday-cake","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/alfiesdiary.uk\/index.php\/2014\/11\/15\/saturday-15th-november-2014-alfies-birthday-cake\/","title":{"rendered":"Saturday 15th November 2014 – Alfie’s birthday cake"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
\"Ready<\/a>
Ready to blow out his candle<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

For those of you who don\u2019t know me, I\u2019m Aristotle and I\u2019m going to be writing the diary on Saturdays and Sundays now. I\u2019m not a deep thinker like Alfie, although our Mistress does say I\u2019m too bright for my own good, but I\u2019m not really sure what she means. I\u2019m the naughty one of the family. Alfie has the mistaken idea that getting me to write might \u2018calm me down\u2019 and help me to behave better. I just think it is an opportunity to tell you what really goes on around here.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Firstly, the birthday cake. Oh he\u2019s whinged that he\u2019s never had a cake before, but quite honestly if he had any sense, now that he has tasted a cake baked by our Mistress he will go back to asking for a steak on his birthday. I bet when he was pulling the \u2018hard done to\u2019 act that he didn\u2019t mention the steak! He says it\u2019s mine and my mum\u2019s fault that the cake didn\u2019t taste so good, but he would say that wouldn\u2019t he. He is the most loyal dog you\u2019ll ever find. Now don\u2019t get me wrong, I\u2019m loyal but I\u2019m a realist too. It is not our fault that we can\u2019t<\/p>\n\n\n\n

tolerate wheat and so our Mistress had to substitute buckwheat flour instead of wheat flour. She says it reacts differently and that is probably why it was quite so solid. If you have read any Terry Pratchett Disc World novels you may have come across \u2018Dwarf Bread\u2019 which is known for its properties as a weapon rather than for eating \u2013 well Alfie\u2019s birthday cake could give Dwarf Bread a run for its money! We still ate it, but it was easier after our Mistress cut it into small pieces to make it easier to digest!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anyway, just to get a few points out of the way. Yes I am the one who jumps on Alfie for entertainment. Yes, I was the one who pooed on the carpet this week because it was raining and I didn\u2019t want to go out and yes I am the one who licks the kitchen pans because I can stand on two legs and reach rather more things than the others can. However, I\u2019m also very cute, loving and adore our Mistress. So that\u2019s got that out of the way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m going to start writing a series of updates on all my brothers and sisters, at least those that share the same mum. If any of you out that are children from Rino von der Untergass you are welcome to write to me to and I\u2019ll tell everyone about you. I shall start with one of them tomorrow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Have a great Saturday. I\u2019m off to see if the washing up was done last night.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Alfie\u2019s Diary \u2013 the Book is available at Amazon UK –https:\/\/www.amazon.co.uk\/dp\/B00583ZGSA<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You can find short stories to read at www.alfiedog.com<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

For those of you who don\u2019t know me, I\u2019m Aristotle and I\u2019m going to be writing the diary on Saturdays and Sundays now. I\u2019m not […]<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":8746,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"gallery","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,11],"tags":[63,50],"class_list":["post-9595","post","type-post","status-publish","format-gallery","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-day-to-day-life","category-family","tag-aristotle","tag-entlebucher","post_format-post-format-gallery"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/alfiesdiary.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9595","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/alfiesdiary.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/alfiesdiary.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alfiesdiary.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alfiesdiary.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9595"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/alfiesdiary.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9595\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":11506,"href":"https:\/\/alfiesdiary.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9595\/revisions\/11506"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alfiesdiary.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/alfiesdiary.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9595"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alfiesdiary.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9595"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alfiesdiary.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9595"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}