Dear television production companies<\/p>\n
When you make programmes that my Mistress is actually going to start watching, which for your information doesn\u2019t happen very often, please can you think \u2018Dog\u2019? Catchy tunes and songs about cats are not acceptable. Oh it was bad having my Mistress going round singing \u2018Smelly cat, smelly cat what are they feeding you?\u2019 but at least I could console myself that the cat was both unpleasant smelling and poorly fed. Now I am having to listen to her going round singing \u2018Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur\u2019 and frankly I\u2019m feeling threatened and sensitive. Of course, I wouldn\u2019t appreciate it if she were singing the praises of a dog other than myself so if you could shape a song about a fine, handsome adult Entlebucher called Alfie then I would be very grateful.<\/p>\n
Yours sincerely a depressed pet.<\/p>\n
I can only apologise to the more normal among you if you didn\u2019t understand the references above. My Mistress used to watch Friends. She\u2019s a bit of an obsessive personality, but that works to our favour most of the time. Now she is watching all the episodes of the Big Band Theory from the first series onwards and it\u2019s getting a bit much. On the bright side we all get to sit on the settee together, but as a negative I have to hear her singing \u2018Soft kitty\u2019 at other times as well. I think we should try to reach a compromise. Perhaps I should get her to leave off writing her new novel and see if she wants to co-write a sit-com with me, maybe starting a handsome Entlebucher as the family dog. I wonder if I could stretch to playing the starring role as well as writing it. If he hadn\u2019t got so big Aristotle could have played the part of the annoying puppy very convincingly.<\/p>\n
Alfie\u2019s Diary \u2013 the Book is available at Amazon UK –https:\/\/www.amazon.co.uk\/dp\/B00583ZGSA<\/a><\/p>\n You can find short stories to read at www.alfiedog.com<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"