My mistress bought me a chew the other day to \u2018keep me quiet\u2019. It is about a meter long and I can only just carry it or drag it round with me. I have made a bit of an impression on one end but I will not be beaten. I can\u2019t carry it upstairs so I started trying to chew my mistress\u2019s arm to get her to go and fetch it for me. She had to go all the way downstairs and then when she came back I said I had changed my mind and would have a nap instead. As soon as she sat down I started pacing round and said I needed to go out, so she had to get up and go downstairs again. I could make a game out of this all day if I tried! She brought my birthday present home at the same time that she bought the chew, but I am not supposed to know. It is hidden on top of the top bunk in Andy\u2019s room, where she thinks I can\u2019t see. It\u2019s a brand new bed that is big enough so that my head doesn\u2019t flop over the edge. I am hoping she will be getting some toys to go with it, otherwise it isn\u2019t going to be very exciting at all.<\/p>\n
The fridge-freezer has broken so we are waiting for the \u2018Smeg\u2019 engineer. Now there is a company that can\u2019t have appreciated the swear word \u2018smegging\u2019 invented in the Red Dwarf television series. When you are sitting around waiting for someone to come and fix one of their products there are all sorts of temptations of how to use the swear words! Personally I am using them because my walk has been delayed until after he has been. I asked the question \u2018What if he doesn\u2019t come?\u2019 but I haven\u2019t had a satisfactory reply. Still, it does mean I have been allowed to get wet and muddy running round the garden, which is a bonus in any dogs book.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"