I seem to be having a week for getting into trouble. In my defence this was not entirely my fault, but my Mistress didn\u2019t entirely see it the same way. I cannot be held responsible if a Jack Russell makes a bid for freedom and then uses its time to stand the other side of the fence arguing with me. She\u2019s been on at me about this whole \u2018turn the other cheek\u2019 lark, but I ask you, what dog have you ever known to turn the other cheek? Sadly she told me that her previous dog did. Well wasn\u2019t he the little goody four shoes then! When I am having the error of my ways pointed out, I do not want to be compared to the apparently perfect dog. I want to be compared to real dogs with real problems. I have been lectured on not teaching Shadow all my bad habits and been firmly put in my place. I think it\u2019s time to rebel. I can\u2019t be doing with all this authority. I\u2019ve waited long enough. I\u2019m going to dye my hair pink and have a stud put in my nose (unless it\u2019s likely to hurt, in which case I\u2019ll get one of those artificial ones so that she only thinks I\u2019ve done it.) I\u2019m going to learn all the teenage slang and start swearing as well. Enough of the good dog image. If she isn\u2019t going to listen that I wasn\u2019t to blame then I can at least get my money\u2019s worth. If I feel really daring I might even leave my toys in the middle of the room and refuse to clear up, then I\u2019m going to chem. Any of the house plants that I can reach. I need a tougher name too. If I\u2019m going to rebel \u2018Alfie\u2019 sounds a bit cute.<\/p>\n
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