{"id":17002,"date":"2020-01-24T06:00:00","date_gmt":"2020-01-24T06:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/alfiedog.me.uk\/?p=17002"},"modified":"2020-01-24T06:00:00","modified_gmt":"2020-01-24T06:00:00","slug":"im-a-coward-friday-24th-january-2020","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/alfiesdiary.uk\/index.php\/2020\/01\/24\/im-a-coward-friday-24th-january-2020\/","title":{"rendered":"I&#8217;m a coward &#8211; Friday 24th January 2020"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-i-m-a-coward\">I\u2019m a coward<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>I don\u2019t mind admitting it, I\u2019m a coward. I\u2019d be happier to face half a ton of cow than to be asked to play with Wilma. That girl scares me. Yesterday, our Mistress had this mad idea. \u2018Aristotle,\u2019 she said, \u2018take Wilma out into the back garden and the pair of you have a good run around.\u2019 The first problem with that was that I did not want to have a run around. I wanted to sit in front of a fireside snuggled up with a dog biscuit and my human. The second problem was the glint in Wilma\u2019s eyes. She was beside herself with excitement at the prospect of having a playmate. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-gallery has-nested-images columns-default is-cropped wp-block-gallery-1 is-layout-flex wp-block-gallery-is-layout-flex\">\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img decoding=\"async\" data-id=\"17004\" src=\"https:\/\/alfiedog.me.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/IMG_8886-768x1024.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-17004\"\/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img decoding=\"async\" data-id=\"17005\" src=\"https:\/\/alfiedog.me.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/IMG_8887-768x1024.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-17005\"\/><\/figure>\n<\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>Now, if you know Wilma you will realise that she wasn\u2019t\nnicknamed \u2018Wild Wilma\u2019 for nothing. She has one speed, which our Mistress\ndescribes as Exocet Missile speed. Our Mistress, to give her her due, did agree\nto come outside with us. She positioned herself behind the water butt for safety.\nMe? Well, I positioned myself behind my Mistress. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-she-s-mad\">She\u2019s Mad<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>In the short time before I took cover, I\u2019d been bounced on, pounced on, jumper over and bumped. All of which was while I was trying to stand stock-still so I couldn\u2019t be seen until I\u2019d found the best hiding place. That was when I ran for cover behind out Mistress. \u2018Apparently\u2019 that wasn\u2019t entering into the spirit of things and wasn\u2019t being overly helpful. Nor was it helpful when I suggested our Mistress should stand in the middle of the garden and see how long she would put up with it for. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Why can\u2019t Wilma be like a normal dog and like playing fetch\nwith a ball? Why does she have to have another dog to chase? <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>What I didn\u2019t appreciate was later when our Mistress took Shadow out with Wilma and Wilma didn\u2019t jump on Shadow once. What is it about me that makes her think jumping on me is acceptable? I\u2019ve been victimised!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>On a brighter note, we did have steak for tea, so it wasn\u2019t\nall bad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Have a great day<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Aristotle<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<div class=\"mh-excerpt\"><p>I&#8217;m a coward &#8211; says Aristotle, after he&#8217;s been made to go outside and play with an overenthusiastic Wilma.<\/p>\n<\/div>","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":16967,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"gallery","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[63,50,27,93],"class_list":["post-17002","post","type-post","status-publish","format-gallery","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-day-to-day-life","tag-aristotle","tag-entlebucher","tag-shadow","tag-wilma","post_format-post-format-gallery"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/alfiesdiary.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17002","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/alfiesdiary.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/alfiesdiary.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alfiesdiary.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alfiesdiary.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=17002"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/alfiesdiary.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17002\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alfiesdiary.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/16967"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/alfiesdiary.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=17002"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alfiesdiary.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=17002"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alfiesdiary.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=17002"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}