A St Bernard gets a barrel of alcohol and all I get is a\nGPS tracking device on my collar. I asked if I could have a little hip flask to\ngo with it, for my longer treks but apparently that isn\u2019t appropriate for a\ndog! This thing is huge. So far we haven\u2019t even been able to set it up right,\nso whilst my Mistress has eventually conned the system into understanding that\nwe don\u2019t live in a village several miles away, at least whilst I\u2019m at home I\ndon\u2019t seem to be giving out any signal at all. In reality I think I still give\nout a signal but we are too sheltered for it to be received by anyone, too\nsheltered or too remote, one of the other<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Oh dear, Alfie was having a difficult time in 2011<\/p>\n\n\n\n Shadow has been going on and on about what a lovely\nweekend she had, having my owners to herself. If I weren\u2019t a pacifist type of\ndog, I\u2019d punch her. I know she\u2019s trying to provoke a reaction and she really is\na very annoying little dog, they are at the end of the day my owners too and my\nMistress is closer to me than any of us. I have been sitting as close as I can\nto my Mistress to prove the point and Megan has been sitting the other side of\nher, which has led to some disagreements with Shadow. I think she may be\nhormonal. It\u2019s only female dogs she is supposed to be more aggressive towards\nwhen she comes into season and I am not female. I may not have all the\nnecessary bits, but I\u2019ve still got some of them. I can do without hormonal\nwomen having a go at me for no reason.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n It’s funny looking back to 2012 to see Alfie describing\nAristotle as his best friend. I wonder when it all went so wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I know I\u2019m not supposed to use my Mistress\u2019s credit card, but it\u2019s in a good cause. It\u2019s just that I\u2019m not going to be able to hide the evidence and I think I\u2019m going to be in trouble. Is it ok to say it was Roxy and Snoopy\u2019s faults and that I am in some way innocent? I just don\u2019t like to see Ari struggle and I don\u2019t want him to miss out on all the fun. He\u2019s my best friend and we should go places together. I also realise it isn\u2019t his birthday for another three months, but I didn\u2019t think he should have to wait that long. I found a pet stroller in the right size and it was much cheaper than all the ones I\u2019d looked at the other day. <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n It\u2019s the exact same one but it\u2019s half the price and I\u2019ve checked it isn\u2019t dodgy. It\u2019s by the official importer of the product and it really does all look above board, it\u2019s just that I didn\u2019t ask first and I\u2019m going to be in big trouble. I\u2019ve heard it all before. \u201cAlfie you must not use my credit card. That is fraud.\u201d The thing is, I did some checks and I don\u2019t think fraud applies to dogs. I don\u2019t think they have doggy prisons and if anything my owner would be held responsible. Then as it\u2019s her credit card anyway it can\u2019t be fraud, so I\u2019m all right\u2026aren\u2019t I?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Well that\u2019s all for today<\/p>\n\n\n\n Have a great Friday<\/p>\n\n\n\n Love Wilma <\/p>\n\n\n\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Kid sisters can be annoying<\/em><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Alfie in trouble<\/em><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
![\"\"](\"http:\/\/alfiedog.me.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/06\/IMG_0476cropped.jpg\")