Alfie@alfiedog.me.uk<\/a><\/p>\n23rd<\/sup> November 2007<\/p>\nDear sirs,<\/p>\n
I have heard that Brian Barwick has not ruled out non-English applicants for the position of Manager of the England football team and that he is looking for a root and branch review. As a Belgian dog who is very familiar with both roots and branches I am convinced that I couldn\u2019t possibly do a worse job than the last incumbent. I am in the process of moving to live in England and will be available to take the job on from the end of January. I hope that the fact I will be living in the Middlesbrough area will not be held against me.<\/p>\n
Yours faithfully<\/p>\n
Alfie Dog<\/p>\n
The diet is not going all that well. Fortunately, for me, my mistress finds me irresistible when I ask nicely for something. Yesterday I asked whether it would be all right for me to eat the \u2018long lasting, low fat, chew\u2019 that I was given as a present by my mum. It was hard for my mistress to say no, as she was about to tuck in to a piece of steak. \u2018Long lasting\u2019, turned out to be about five minutes. \u2018Chew\u2019 was what I did to get large pieces off to swallow. \u2018Low fat\u2019 became irrelevant as I was up in the night with an upset stomach. When I get up in the night, it means my mistress had to get up in the night. I can assure you at both 2am and 4am she is not a pretty sight!<\/p>\n
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This is the letter I have put together to apply for the position of England Manager. I sent it to the Sunday Times and am […]<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":12775,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1566","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/alfiesdiary.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1566","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/alfiesdiary.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/alfiesdiary.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alfiesdiary.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alfiesdiary.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1566"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/alfiesdiary.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1566\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alfiesdiary.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/12775"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/alfiesdiary.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1566"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alfiesdiary.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1566"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alfiesdiary.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1566"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}