\u2018Murder she wrote\u2019 has taken on a whole new meaning. My mistress spelt the word \u2018murder\u2019 out in melon for the starter. To be honest it was a bit creepy. Clearly it is unwise to let her loose with \u2018cookie cutters\u2019!<\/p>\n
I have to give them their due, when my master and mistress had all the cutlery for wedding presents and more plates and bowls than even a human can need, I never thought they would actually find a way to use all of them at once. It\u2019s a good job we\u2019ve got a dishwasher as I would have drawn the line at having to lick that many. You won\u2019t be surprised to learn that the meal involved orange sauce, being one of the few imaginative things my mistress knows how to cook. For his part my master entered into the spirit of it by having a \u2018fake tan\u2019 which on someone with such white skin was a bit of a shock to the system. The worry now is that he will get to like it and want it applied more often. My mistress did a much better job on him than she has ever managed to do on herself. The funniest bit is that his character was supposed to have an Australian accent. He might have got away with it as moderately authentic, had it not been for the Australians who were here playing other characters. At least he tried. It\u2019s the \u2018who dunnit\u2019 bit that bothers me. It turned out it was my master. Now correct me if I\u2019m wrong but if he can kill once I\u2019m sure he can do it again. \u201cIt was only a game,\u201d he said. But these things really aren\u2019t so trivial. I\u2019m worried for my mistress and me. When you start thinking about being killed by a spear in the conservatory! Well it doesn\u2019t bear thinking about. Perhaps it\u2019s a good job we haven\u2019t got a conservatory.<\/p>\n
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