{"id":11727,"date":"2016-04-11T06:00:38","date_gmt":"2016-04-11T05:00:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/alfiedog.me.uk\/?p=11595"},"modified":"2016-04-11T06:00:38","modified_gmt":"2016-04-11T05:00:38","slug":"monday-11th-april-2016-hi-im-wilma-and-im-not-choosy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/alfiesdiary.uk\/index.php\/2016\/04\/11\/monday-11th-april-2016-hi-im-wilma-and-im-not-choosy\/","title":{"rendered":"Monday 11th April 2016 – Hi I’m Wilma and I’m not choosy"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"If<\/a>
If we can’t mate – can we play tug?<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Hi I\u2019m Wilma and I\u2019d like to mate with you. To be honest any one of you would do. My hormones have just got all too much for me and I really don\u2019t mind who you are. You could be a Pug or a Doberman, a mongrel or a Great Dane \u2013 I really don\u2019t mind. To be fair things are starting to calm down a little today but yesterday it was a nightmare. If I had had my choice I would definitely have mated with Alfie yesterday and I really didn\u2019t understand why he was finding it so difficult. Isn\u2019t it every dog\u2019s dream to have a girl tell them how wonderful they are? Even Aristotle resorted to hiding behind our Mistress in the office so I couldn\u2019t keep jumping on him when he wasn\u2019t expecting it. Mum has made a note that day 13 seems to be my best day this time around and she will keep a record each time so she knows when to take me to see whoever my first boyfriend will be in a couple of years. Until then apparently I just have to live with the frustration and try not to unnerve Alfie and Aristotle too much. The only good thing is that I don\u2019t really need my pants on anymore and that is a big relief. It just isn\u2019t dog enough to go round wearing a pair of pants. I\u2019m looking forward to being able to go out for a walk again, but Mum says we are still a few days away from that one. She says Alfie will tell her when it\u2019s ok. He\u2019s good like that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Meanwhile Mum is on a diet. She has bought a dress to wear for a wedding that needs her to lost a few pounds first. She is not totally stupid the shop has a good returns policy so if she hasn\u2019t lost the weight within three weeks she can change it for one that fits her more rotund shape!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You can find short stories to read at www.alfiedog.com<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Alfie\u2019s Diary \u2013 the Book as well as our other books are available HERE<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Hi I\u2019m Wilma and I\u2019d like to mate with you. To be honest any one of you would do. My hormones have just got all […]<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":11338,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"gallery","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,15],"tags":[109,63,14,50,93],"class_list":["post-11727","post","type-post","status-publish","format-gallery","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-day-to-day-life","category-dog-breeding","tag-alfie","tag-aristotle","tag-breeding","tag-entlebucher","tag-wilma","post_format-post-format-gallery"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/alfiesdiary.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11727","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/alfiesdiary.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/alfiesdiary.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alfiesdiary.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alfiesdiary.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=11727"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/alfiesdiary.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11727\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alfiesdiary.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/alfiesdiary.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=11727"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alfiesdiary.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=11727"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alfiesdiary.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=11727"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}